How Does It Feel To Be A Human Being?
Accepting Chaos and Being Broke
"How does it feel to be a human being?"
I ask myself as I write this. I have had neither the opportunity nor brainspace to plan or write this month’s newsletter. Life has turned upside-down for me over the last month. Not necessarily in a bad way. August is my birthday month, and sadly, as a Virgo, the only time of the year I loosen my grip on keeping everything familiar and safe, just letting that (little bit) of chaos in.
"But it's a MONTHLY newsletter" my inner critic says to me. "You set it up that so you would be able to achieve that at least. Some people have WEEKLY newsletters. What excuse do you have? How dare you send your readers something that you wrote on a notes app on the bus?"
I reply to this irksome voice, "Never undervalue one's right to change one's mind. And anyway, we always knew this was going to happen. We know how it gets during my birthday period."
I'm in the United Kingdom seeing family and friends after almost two years away. I am exhausted and overwhelmed but treasuring each moment. I am permitting myself ‘rest days’ in between seeing everyone. If you miss people a lot, it’s natural that when you are reunited, a lot of emotional energy is spent. When it’s all at the same time, well - it’s a trip.
I am unable to give my work much attention. I am sending a silent "up yours" to the Capitalist expectation that I am useless because of it. I have also fully accepted I am not the kind of person to have money saved in their bank account "for a rainy day". Life is a rainy day. It's a storm and the sunlight shining through creating rainbows. It's everything all at once.
That's all I can offer for now. But I am working on next month's newsletter and I'm very excited about it. I spoke to a very special person and I cannot wait to share their wise words, equally uplifting as they are recognisable, with you.
For more things I published recently about accessibility and creative work…
Read my blogs, Posting: Less is More? and Jack Of All Trades, Master Of None.
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Rebecca, a belated Happy Birthday. I hear you with the inner critic and posting monthly. It's great that you have started and absolutely, "Never undervalue one's right to change one's mind". My critic speaks so loudly I am yet to start, still big dreams and all that.
Why am I subscribing? I love your unapologetic approach and can see there is much to learn about other perspectives. Thank you for sharing and three cheers to dancing the merry dance between order and chaos.